This is only the beginning

After talking with the nurse yesterday I realised this is only the beginning. I have looked up the other tests I may have to have. They range from PET, bone marrow aspiration and biopsy.

My timeline is as follows:

Sun 2nd Aug Extract lymph node - day operation
Mon 3rd - Thursday 6th Aug - rest and recuperation while biopsy is done
Fri 7th August - consultants meeting (am) and results back to me (pm)
Sat 8th August - Friday 21st August further tests and results
Mon 24th August - earliest treatment start date.
August - ??? you knows

Makes things difficult to plan at the moment as it is my annual leave.

Biggest disappointment - I thought my estranged children might make the effort to come and see me before my operation - not a chance yet.

Today I phoned a nurse

20 days since the diagnosis. On that day I had a card from a nurse so I decided to phone him today to try and find out more.

I have an operation on 2nd August and he thinks I will have the results by the 7th August with treatment if necessary a couple of weeks later.

He said I had a slightly enlarged spleen so I need to check that out.

Overall I am good and rested and sleeping well. I am down to one beer a day so feeling not too bad.

Life goes on

I still have a half marathon on 11th October in my sights - how realistic I don't yet know. I went for a jog/run/walk for 75 mins and saw my neighbour who had just come back from holiday. He did ask whether I had had my operation yet.

This time next week I should be back home after my operation to remove my lymph node. I wonder how I will feel.

To be honest I feel and look pretty good at the moment. My BMI is almost normal and skin is better too. Why should I ruin it by having an operation I wonder?

I di post a copy of my letter on Facebook yesterday saying I have had to cancel holidays. It seems to have stopped people posting their holiday snaps - guilt I wonder?

Its very wet here and across the whole UK it seem at the moment. So much for peak holiday times.

Just on my second beer of the evening. I am still cutting down on what I used to drink which is good.

Just wondering whether to buy a proper smartphone. My thinking is that I will be spending loads of time in hospital so will need a distraction but I have not worked out whether I will be able to use it on a ward.

I know the date now

I had a scan of my abdomen and pelvis areas on Thursday 23rd July. A lot of waiting around and not too much action.

Yesterday 24th July I had a phone call saying I have a letter informing me of an appointment on 28th July but to ignore it. Instead the lady told me I would have a lymph node removed on Sunday 2nd August. So much for what cabinet ministers say about the NHS not working at weekends.

I expect the letter today and might publish it on Facebook. I am thinking about doing the antidote to holiday pictures by posting various shots of wards and apparatus and selfies of me in hospital beds.

So far this year I have been 11 times to hospitals. Must be a sign of getting older.

Still waiting for details of my operation

I am going to get a lymph node removed from my neck soon. You will see from previous posts that I have had a pre-operation check. My guess is Tuesday 28th July - my surgeon operates on Tuesdays. I have a scan booked for this Thursday to see if or how far the disease has spread.

I have worked out that at the clinic, Thursday is a telling off day (you drink too much) and Friday is the bad news day.

A few more people, including one of my students know about my situation. Everyone seems kind and supportive. My boss's boss is a bit more reticent however but I will see her tomorrow.

Its quite difficult to get motivated by work at the moment but this might be the last week for a while. I am on holiday for 4 weeks starting on Monday 27th July - not much of a holiday with operations and probable cancer treatments.

How was your weekend?

Yesterday as a sort of defiant gesture I went into work for an open day. I told a few more people that I had cancer - mixed reactions as some knew, some didn't and some pretended they didn't know but did.

I am running at very high blood sugars at the moment and forgot to take my medication last night, but in reality the lymphoma and its treatment is most important in my mind.

I went for a cycle today - I think this will be my favoured exercise as running seems too strenuous at the moment and recovery time is long. I might even start cycling to work again.

I have been trying to relax. My wife gave me a concoction which is supposed to help during Chemotherapy and surprisingly it made me feel uplifted.

The good thing is that I have slept for 8 hours each of the last last two nights  so things are not too bad.

One week on since I was told I had cancer

If nobody had told me last Friday that I had cancer I would be none the wiser. I look fit and healthy.

I am trying to keep positive. I am in contact be email with 2 out of 3 of my estranged children. My mother (300 lies away is worried) but my wife is being as supportive as ever.

I am waiting for the operation to remove my neck lump (lymph node) and then wait for the results before starting treatment. The treatment has a high success rate but I will be out of circulation for a few months I reckon.

I have not told my students yet but don't quite know how to approach this.

As Eric Idle said - always look on the bright side of life do do do do do do do ......

Its consistent with NHL

Pre-op today including an ECG which I have never had before.

I went to my GP today too. He said the hospital had sent a letter saying it was consistent with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma - another piece of the jigsaw.

Even though I was on leave today I went to see my line manager. I told him that I might not be around fro a while.

One gets resigned to things unfortunately.

I got annoyed before I went to my pre-op when I was tut-tutted at by a dog walker for not keeping my hedge in check. I retorted that when you had just been diagnosed with cancer you have other priorities than hedges - I managed to stop myself swearing at her.

Things are moving apace

Quite a lot happened yesterday. I have a hospital appointment for 23rd July to do a CT scan with contrast. I have had one before on neck and thorax but this one also includes abdomen and pelvis as well - to check the extent I guess.

Also I had a tea time phone call inviting me to the hospital tomorrow for a pre-op. I thought it was a nuisance call as it did not have a number visible but a message was left. The surgeon usually operates on a Tuesday but also does weekends as well so things might happen sooner rather than later.

If anyone asks me how I am I say do you want the truth - usually they are shocked and say I look well.

One of my sons contacted me a couple of times yesterday in an act of unusual kindness.

Today I told some colleagues that conceivably this might be my last day for a few months. Day to day work scenarios do become less important.

I also went to see my chiropractor today and his work eased some tension across my shoulder blades.

A change of fortune for the horse racing syndicate I am a member of. One of the horses managed to win - I don't have a share in it but it was the first one this year. One I have an interest in runs next Sunday. It is too far a way to attend in person under the current circumstances.

Night sweats

I was awake around the 2am mark again this morning. I was aching a little today - back injury from getting out of my sports car and also sore shoulders which might be a symptom of the lymphoma.  I got up to make myself a mint tea but also had a couple of neurofens (branded ibuprofens) then started to shiver and quickly had to go to bed to warm up. I managed to get back to sleep. When I woke up in the morning it was evident that I had been sweating. My wife thinks it is symptomatic of the second stage condition but I have had sweats before. My blood glucose levels were around the 20 mark (UK units) this morning. I had read about type 2 diabetes and lymphoma links previously.

No sign of my appointment to remove my lump yet but I am anticipating this to be next week now.  I have decided to try and tidy things up today and tomorrow rather than worry about new projects.

My wife was a bit tearful last night about how awful everything was at the moment.

I am waiting to see a student who failed a drug test whilst on placement and was temporarily suspended from the institution where I work but they are letting him back. I need to read the emails to be up to speed in case he brings representation today.

I can't seem to sleep

Second night of difficulty sleeping. It's 2am and I am sitting in the living room sipping a mint tea and browsing lymphoma websites. I was told on the 10th June and its early in the morning of the 13th. I am waiting to have a node removed for a biopsy. Some have this done by local anaesthetic but I am going to opt for a general. I have no desire to see a surgeons knife.

My late father used to say people were fine until they opened them up. Last night my wife said to me I don't have to have chemo or radiotherapy if I did not want to - don't know what else is available to be honest.

Yesterday I went off my food and had low energy which is worrying. I felt very tired about 8.15pm but then had a bath before eating and watching the end of some Nordic Noir.

I feel sorry for my wife at the moment. Her father died after a long illness this year, and her male cat is having seizures, and then there is me. No respite on the holiday front which was due to start in just under 3 weeks. We cancelled on the advice of the surgeon.

Why me?

Its the second full day after my diagnosis. I am definitely still in denial - how could it happen to me? I am only 56 and reasonably fit - I did the local 10k run in a few seconds over the hour just 3 months ago.

Everyone (well I don't know many people really) says it is important to have a positive attitude. I have got a half marathon in October in my sights but tried a training run today only to run out of energy quickly.

Its work tomorrow and many people know already - I wonder how they will react to me? I have decided to carry on normally. I have a dentists appointment tomorrow. It will be good to get this out of the way before treatment starts apparently.

I read up about chemotherapy yesterday. It looks like it might make me quite ill.

I am having contact with my estranged children. My eldest is interested from a professional view as she is at University training to be a doctor. One son says he had bought me a present - this will be the first time for 10years. The youngest son has not responded yet. It would be good to see them before I go under the knife and lose my hair but I doubt it will happen. I have not seen them since 27th June 2005 and they are less than a half hour drive away. Stranger things have happened I suppose.

One day after My diagnosis

Yesterday I was diagnosed with lymphoma. I think I spent the day in denial. I thought today I would start writing my thoughts.

In April I noticed a lump on my neck under my chin right hand side. We are conditioned to react to lumps and went to see a GP who referred me for an ultrasound scan. The results indicated a lump. I pushed a bit more and managed to get another referral. The guys at the hospital took it more seriously. I had all the tests, ct scan, mri, guided ultrasound needle biopsy. I have two lumps now and one of them will be removed to do a thorough biopsy. This will determine the type of lymphoma and dictate the treatment.

I am going to carry on as normal. I told the people at work (to avoid any rumours) and even contacted my estranged (more than 10 years) children. My eldest who has just completed 5 years at medical school wants to know more.

I am waiting for notification of the operation to remove the lump and reading about it. My wife was up in the night reading about chemotherapy.

I am feeling positive.